YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
