What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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