My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
