so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
