My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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