i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
