meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
