there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
