About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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