just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
