In the future we'll all be gay
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
