I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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