since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
