3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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