Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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