there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
