6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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