TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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