Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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