i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
