he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize