I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
