i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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