I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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