I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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