On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
