i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
