My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
