I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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