I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
