I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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