so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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