Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
