I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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