i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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