If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
