no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
