hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
not ubering you a puppy
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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