some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
