oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
