I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Randomize
