I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
