You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
