the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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