Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's blow job season.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
