Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
