Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
