just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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