where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
