I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
