Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
