Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
