Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
All the doctor said was why
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
