I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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