Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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