Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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