So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
